My Family

Well here we are legally a family. Hurray!!!!! we are all so happy

They are mine

It been a long hard ride but the adoption was finalized today. What a relief and enjoyment. I am so happy to have a complete family. Even with them fighting in the other room right now.

Christmas Log

I couldn't resist Merry Christmas

I can not log onto one of my Favourite websites anymore hillbillyhousewife.com It tells me I need a username and password. When did this happen? I am sad. If anyone knows how to get back onto Hillbilly housewife please let me know.

Interesting how trees with Hoar Frost can make me happy

More things to look at

Some more pictures I took late this summer

I want to be so many things. One thing that gives me joy is taking pictures. I don't post them often though. Perhaps I will start to.

Battle of wits

I miss my Princess Bride DVD

Here I am

It has been a stressful week. I got sick right after Fred got sick and it has been pretty hard, but we are on the up swing. I like the up swing.
I have decided that I want to be a writer. Which is strange because I've always wanted to be a writer but now I really want to be a writer.
Also the joyful thing is My Lift seminar is on Friday Dec 7 and I am so excited to get to it. I think it will be wonderful. Like I said things are on the up swing.
Please excuse my lack of editing I am on my way to bed.

As a Man Thinketh James Allan

Mind is the master power that moulds and makes,
and Man is Mind and evermore he takes
The tools of Thought, and shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills:-
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking glass.

I am still here

I am still here. I haven't left. I was at an amazing seminar in Lethbridge. It was from the Arbinger Institute. They wrote the books "Leadership and Self Deception" and "Anatomy of Peace" I've only read the first book and planning to read the second when I attract a copy into my life.
It was life changing. I really recommend those books. It can change the way you look at everything, your children, your spouse, yourself. And the beautiful thing is they don't change you do.
They have a small booklet journal type thing call 30 days to better children and its a journal you write in positive things about your kids. Everyday for a month. I have done 2 whole days now and see a difference. So good.
So theres my plug for the day "Read those Books", and the world will improve because you will.
I am going to go over my notes everyday for the 30 days as well to try and keep motivated. I am finding myself returning to the boxes I need to banish.

A Love Affair

I have discovered a new love. I like to call them books. Some are written by men and some are written by women. I have been a bit upset and nervous about the upcoming events in my life and a good book can usually put it all in perspective. One line from a great and wonderful book can put so much in line that you are able to go on and relax you know life will be OK. "that book or that person who can give me an idea or a new slant on an old idea is my friend." Louis L'Amour.
The ones I am particularly enjoying right now are the ones written by Louis L'Amour. He has written many many books, most of them westerns. I have been trying to read the Sackett series which are good and bad at the same time. Good because you can learn a lot from them, and bad because when I pick one up I tend to forget the house. But luckily enough most of them are thin enough I can finish them in one day, with the welcome interruptions of runny noses, poopy bums, and meals. Laundry on a Sackett day forget it.
I am reading right now Louis L'Amour's Autobiography "Education of a Wandering Man" What a great book and I am only on chapter 3. I have been having epiphanies one after the other.
Is reading a book about learning facts or learning about yourself? I think if you read a book and are better for it then you are getting an education.
"If I were asked what education should give, I would say it should offer breadth of view, ease of understanding, tolerance for others, and a background from which the mind can explore in any direction. Education should provide the tools for a widening and deepening of life, for increased appreciation for all one sees or experiences. It should equip a person to live life well, to understand what is happening about him, for to live life well one must live with awareness" Louis L'Amour "Education of a Wandering Man"
I have been searching for what education means to me and here he sums it up and 3 sentences.
I have not been this epiphenated (for lack of a better word) since I read Viktor Frankle's "Mans Search for Meaning"
So for those of you out there this is a borrowed book and Christmas is coming ....hint hint.

A vote I feel pretty

Which version do you prefer? Adam or Maria

To much stress

I am feeling overwhelmed in all I need to do in the next few months. The thought that I may lose 2 children is debilitating at times. I have wonderful family and friends who have offered to come help me clean for the home study which is absolutely great. But the thought that I am being judged as a mother is a bit much. I try really hard to be a good mom but let me tell you there are days. What if the house is too clean or not clean in the right way? What if at the child psychologist it comes out that I spanked once and that is seen as bad? What if I am not the best choice?
I homeschool, my husband is unemployed but has decided that ya maybe I should look for work. (rambling to the point of distraction, I think my head is spinning)
I have a new project on the go with 2 wonderful friends. That is good right now because it is something to take my mind off things and I can do something. I am impatient and all this waiting to find out if the courts think I'm a good mom or not is a bit daunting, annoying, insert word of choice. And I'm low on my empower plus so things always look harder around this time io the bottle looking empty. (Good stuff that empower plus)

To what point does an author own the characters.

So J.K. Rowling just outed Dumbledore. I find this as unnecessary as having a gay Teletubbie. Truly, why must we work that into everyday life? So just because the world says it OK to be gay why does everything now have to have a homosexual aspect to it? Why can't it just be? I'm OK with Sesame Street becoming multi cultural and I'm glad they have a character with a speech impediment but are they next on the gay rights agenda to have the kid with 2 Moms or 2 dads? Why can't things just be?
When we read a book we give part of our life to it and part of it becomes us. I was Ok with Dumbledore being asexual. Why give him the aspect of a love life now after the books are written, after the movies are in progress? Was it truly necessary?

Funny Story

Well this is so funny I had to share. My almost 6 year old daughter (that we are trying to adopt) was pretending to be dumb. I have no idea why but she does it from time to time. I get frustrated when she does it so I told her to stop it we all know she is very smart and she should act it. She said "Yeah I know, the only thing I don't know is the difference from a tiger roar to a lion roar. I don't know why but I just can't tell them apart". I said "Yeah its hard for most people" then excused myself to the bathroom to laugh my little head off.
She has a very interesting view of the world.

Hi

I posted a funny post the other day I apologize. I was trying to be creative by posting a home video but couldn't figure it out and then my attention was diverted and I completely forgot. sorry for the confusion. I am excited there was an article in the paper today praising Home School. Fraser Institute did a big study in praise of Home School and the Lethbridge Herald did a bit of an article on it.
Very exciting to have positive research done. I know you can find research either way so really what is the point of research? I have been emailed a copy so if anyone would like to read the 18 page essay let me know and I can forward it. Its called "Homeschooling From Extreme to Mainstream". It is an interesting read.

My Dad The Hero

I have a very exciting story to tell about my Dad the Hero. IF you are familiar with Thomas Jefferson Education you are familiar with the basic Missions. Feed the Hungry, Liberate the Captive, Educate the Innocent, Create Beauty, Heal the sick, I don't have my notes in front of me but I believe there were 7 or so and then an Other. Well my Dad fits into the "Other" category. A friend of mine penned it "Protect the Innocent". There is no other way to describe my Dad the Hero. He is a protector of the innocent.
He is in this part of the world to help us get our house ready for the winter. He is also my landlord. He needed some supplies and headed into Lethbridge. On his way into town he noticed some very strange track marks on the road and lawns of peoples homes. As he traveled down the road a bit more he noticed a Truck through the outside wall of a neighbors house. thinking this to be very strange he noticed another on looker. My dad backed up his truck a little and started talking to the other man about he strangeness of it all when they both heard a struggle looked over and noticed a lady being car jacked. She was being pulled from her car and fighting the guy attacking her. The other man with my dad advised the lady to let the vehicle go as it was not worth her life. The bad guy got the car and drove off at what point the lady victim told my dad this the other man that she had a great deal of money in the car, and other valuables. So my Dad being the protector of the innocent followed at a safe distance the Jeep that had just been hijacked. The bad guy who stole the jeep was driving through peoples yards and feilds, he was plowing through barbwire fences and other fences. He ran a few stop signs, he ran over a few stop signs. All the while me Dad keeping an eye on where he might be going.
At one point do to a slight hill my Dad lost sight of him but noticed the much relieving sight of the red and blue. My dad thought "Oh good the police have him" So my Dad continued on up the road to where the blue and red were flashing but noticed a very sad scene. The bad guy had used the jeep to ram the police car off the road turned around and rammed into the drivers side of the police car. By the time my Dad the hero noticed this, the bad guy has half way into the police car reaching across the stunned and pinned police man reaching for his Gun. My dad at this point got out of his truck ran down the ditch to the police car Hauled the bad guy out the drivers side window and grabbed him a half Nelson. They struggled a bit but my dad had a good hold on him. The Police (actually RCMP) officer was then able to get out of the vehicle. He asked my dad to let the Bad guy go but my dad noticed something in the bad guys hand. My dad said"I'm not letting him go he as a box cutter in his hand." The RCMP officer said "It's not a box cutter its full ammo clip to my weapon" At which point my Dad turned into Superman and slammed the bad guy into the Hood and said "You shit head if you move I am going to ram your head through this hood". At this point after the expletive the bad guy stopped struggling and was trying to give his hands to the RCMP officer to be cuffed. AS other help arrived my Dad then noticed the bad guy had been bleeding very profusely due to breaking into a house through a broken window, and ramming a truck into a house, and ramming a jeep into a police car.
Yes it does sound like a good episode of 24 my Dad being Jack Bauer, but it is all true.

Is Potty training really attainable?

So my kids have been running around half naked for 3 days now, I need to shampoo my carpet and I am wondering will it ever come. Hailey is doing really well, she has even stayed dry in her panties for one full day now and prefers the big toilet to her little potty. Hurray!!!! But the boy on the other hand (we really do call him "The Boy") is having a bit of a problem. He goes when it is in the same room as him but doesn't leave what he is doing to go on the potty. The other day we had a solid hazardous waste mess to clean up but I was a few moments behind him and he decided to do an un-gloved texture test. It was a bit gross but we moved on.
I am excited because it is almost done and I look forward to a life free of diapers. This experience is actually my best ever I am taking it one mess at a time, but I mean come on I have been changing diapers for 9 years with the end in sight I am a bit excited.
P.S. Kathleen I lost your blog address some how can you leave it on a comment?

I am not cool And I'm OK with that.

I was reading a blog about pop culture and TMZ and some man Perez, and guess what I have no idea what that means. So I did a little Googling and found out TMZ is "A telepictures production and America Online joint venture that provides an inside look at the latest celebrity scandals." So I guess basically it is an online tabloid. To shame with me for not knowing.
And also who is Perez? Try googling that. Anyway needless to say if it has nothing to do with Disney Princess, Scooby Doo, or Barbie's latest movie I don't know what it is.
Actually thats not true, I have been studying other things that just take me in a different direction than that. I get my celebrity gossip updates when I am in line at the grocery store and the old lady in front of me is trying to barter with the check out clerk on every item.
Needless to say when the news headlines is a celebrity scandal it makes me sad. I saw a video of a news anchor woman who was supposed to headline Paris Hiltons latest scandal and wouldn't I was very proud of her. That is not news.
The kids I want my kids to associate with are the ones who know who Aung San Suu Kyi, and Marie Curie is, not Paris Hilton. I want my kids to read about heroes like Gandhi, Benito Juarez, Margaret Mead, not the latest arrest in Hollywood, or the Who's married to who this week. I quite honestly see it as a colossal waste of time.
I really did not intend to turn this into a soap box. But there you have it. I disagree with our cultures tend to worship scantly clad, skeletal thin people.
Thanks,


p.s. I think I found out who "Perez" is

Adventures in Potty Training

Well we received a Potty yesterday, and with grand illusions I thought "Hurray we can potty train them now" Them being my 2 toddlers that are 7 1/2 months apart due to the miracle of adoption.
So we started off the day with great energy and enthusiasm. I was excited we sang a potty song, we made special potty training Chocolate milk.
Then it began......2 toddlers, one potty, you do the math. World war 17 broke out at my house. It was evil, the fighting and gnashing of teeth. It was OK for about 2 hours but man it got rough. Hunter wanted to sit on it, then Hailey had to sit on it, so we tried taking turns, but toddler property laws rules all. I called it quits when Hunter got physical with Hailey.
But hey got 2 hours of potty training in which is 2 hours closer than yesterday. And Hailey actually produced. Whoo Hooo
So conclusion to experiment "Training two" is have two potties before you begin.

I am so happy and grateful for my healthy body

I have had a sinus cold for 14 days now. I haven't been able to smell anything for 14 days which is not so bad when you have 2 almost potty trained toddlers. But the thing that amazes me the most is the amount of snot the human body can make. It is really amazing and also the colours. Its like a rainbow coming out of my nose, red and green. It is very exciting.
So if anyone nose (pun totally intended) of some good remedies to help with a head cold I am about ready to try anything. The Sinutab is not working and the Advil Cold and Sinus works but for only about an hour than I am plugged up again. My Aunt suggested a neti pot but I don't think I'm talented enough for that. That is a pot you put a saline solution into and put it into one nostril as it runs out the other side. I might just end up choking on snot and saline solution. It would sound good in an obituary. I could be in the ranks right along with Momma Cass.
I am thankful for my children. They are excited to learn every day and I am excited because I get to learn right along beside them.
If you could do anything to change the world for a better place what would it be?


p.s. sometimes I think I have ADD. "Hey guess what I can do? I can ride my bike, hey look a cat."

Today

Well I am sick sick sick. I have had a horrible head cold for a few days now and it will not go away. I just laid around the house feeling sorry for myself shivering then getting hot. You know the feeling.
We actually had a fantastic Family Home Evening. People co operated and shared. Their was only one fight and that was between Hunter and Hailey and who got to sing first. Hunter wanted to do Sunbeam and Hailey just likes to pretend she's in in the opera. SO it was pretty funny to have Hunter saying Sunbeam (its the only word he knows) and jumping then screaming at Hailey "no Lailey SUN BEAM" And Hailey continues on with her "Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh". Hunter has also picked up a horrible scream that he does when he does not get his own way. So much fun.

Its about time

I have started to blog many time only to be interrupted in the activity and had to abort and hopefully try again.
I have been doing so many things I need to sit and sort them out. I have been attending a mastermind group on how to increase productivity and how to realize your unlimited potential. What an eye opener!! It has been fantastic. I am learning so much on the Law of Attraction, positive thinking and faith. So many thought I haven't thought and epiphanies coming from all over now.
I have also been trying to get our life in order so we can have a good schedule for our homeschooling day. I wan to study art history this year, get to know painting and artists, and get some dollar store canvases for the girls to paint on. Megan wants to study Yoga. I have asked a woman I know to be our mentor/ teacher and she is thinking about it. I am very excited about that.
I had a bit of a set back with some house guests. they were here for 10 days. It is a very shaky time for me to have house guests. I tried to stay on schedule but it just couldn't happen. It is a bit unnerving to realize I get so easily overwhelmed. I know people have been telling me this but I have never seen it before. My balance of life stresses can be thrown off so easily. My Aunt is always telling me to find balance then I feel I finally do and house guest come and throw me off again. What do you do to stay balanced? I guess a good one is to say no.

I have been pondering lately what I don't really know. Yes I do I have been pondering to what extent do I want to be involved. Involved in what? I realize how shaky my balance is when I finally get it that one more thing can throw it off, so how can I be involved in life outside my house. I see everyone around me being so busy running to and fro and I think but if I did that who would fold the laundry or if I did that who would sweep the floor. I want to start running but when? The day is so full that I can't comprehend at what point I could start running. Priorities. I need to list my priorities. Is running more important then sweeping the floor? If I ran would I have more energy to sweep the floor? Probably not at first.
So I need to prioritize.
I think this sounds dumb but I will post anyway.

Ancora Imparo

"Still, I am learning"

Michelangelo was credited for saying this at an old age. One search says he scribbled it in one of his note books in old age. Another search says he whispered it to a friend in old age. Either way you search it he was old when he said it. It is a great quote to celebrate lifelong learning. A love of lifelong learning. I shall have to ask my father in law how it is pronounced.
Very inspiring that a genius at 87 can say he is still earning I have a bit if a way to go

Summer is almost over

I must say it has been one of the most stressful summers in quite a while. To much going on and not enough time to do it in and the whole court adoption thing took a lot of steam out of me. I know this may sound whinerish but I felt a depression coming on and thanks to the generous nature of my Mother In Law she gave me a bottle of True Hope and it really has been helping. I feel completely different and actually able to cope. WOW. I am glad it is able to be sold in Canada again.
My kids are growing like weeds. We had a 5 year old birthday party today and invited 5 kids but some siblings had to come along so we ended up with 14 kids. It was pretty hectic but we managed.
I am feeling nostalgic.
I was really dreading teh homeschooling thing but I feel this pull for it and I know for my family it is right. I know some of you disagree but I know for most of my kids it is the right decision for them. But I feel like I can take it on.
I went to a fantastic parent seminar last week. The morning was interesting and I don't feel I got all I could of out of it but my attitude was still not quite in the game. But in the afternoon we did a simulation. 5 pillars to a superb leadership education are Classics, Mentors, Field Experience, Simulations and God. So I was able to take part in this simulation it is called life boat. You pretend you are on a cruise ship that is sinking not enough life boats only 6 people can live and you have to give reasons as to why or why not you want a seat on the boat. I died. First I said no then my mom gave me a seat then the captain took it away because there were to many people. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway it really puts things into perspective for you. When I got home I realized I had made the wrong choice and that I needed to fight for my life instead of giving it up so easily. There was no debrief afterwards due to lack of time but it still would have been nice to have it.
It was good to think again, it was good to be a part of a group with like minded thoughts and beliefs, and it was nice to realize where my priorities should be and now will be. interesting the turns life takes you on to teach you what you need to know. I am working on life as a journey analogies but it is to cheesy to share right now.

To much sadness today

Well I am sad today. The birth father of the girls I am in the process of adopting is contesting the adoption. I mean really he hasn't seen them in over 2 years. He sent money once at the beginning and now he feels the need to be the little bastard he is and contest the adoption. Just because he got my sister pregnant and has run out now he feels the need to hold things up by another month. We have to go to court on Monday as planned but not to finalize things but to hear jerko sperm donors demands. Where does he get off even thinking he is a Dad? Maybe someone should tell him it takes more than $500 every 3 years and more than one Christmas present very second Christmas to be a good dad. Like he should even have grounds to make demands on. I think if you haven't made any attempt in over 2 years to see your kids then perhaps you should lose your right to them. If he wants to be a part of their life then fine be a part of their life but this is freaking ridiculous. And I still have half of my family coming. Like I feel like cleaning and washing sheets for everyone. And to top everything off I was in Cardston yesterday I filled up my Van with gas and went in and my card was declined. It was truly turning into one of hte best days of my life. No credit and stupid asshole birth father decides he should make demands. and hold up the adoption just because he can. Truly at what point does he not have the right to do that. He has made no attempt to see them in over 2 years. The youngest one has no idea who he is.
Here is the truly scary part that rips my heart out. I have absolutely no legal hold on those kids. If he up and decides he wants them back to live with him there is shit all I can do about it. I could lose 2 of my babies on Monday and there is nothing I can do about it.

A little Queen

And yet another great classic from Queen

Under pressure

I feel like this today. I think I will take up jogging.

I Have a Dream

I have always enjoyed this speech. I always cry at the end when he says "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I am free at last". I am reading "Think and Grow Rich" by Napolean Hill for the second time it is a good book. I am trying to be more positive and focused in my thoughts. I t can be a very daunting task some days. What does that have to do with Dr. King. Well he is a great example of focused positive thought. Look what he manifested in the world.

A lady by the name of Veronica Ciandre made this nice video. It was inspired by Martin Luther King Jr, and Bob Proctor on the Secret. I liked it a lot.

Back on

Just for the record I can never stay out of it for too long. I have resubscribed to said group that I left. The reason for that is a friend/mentor who also happens to be of the same faith as me (my passive aggressive tendencies coming out yet again.) said "Peggy Hillyer leaders comment they don't unsubscribe". I thought about that and knew it to be true. So I rejoined the group
The issue of religion bothered me at first but then it turned into being annoyed at what I construed as peoples misinterpretation of the 5 pillars of leadership education. I thought long and hard and had to come to the realization once again that people do not see things the same way I do and had to get over it and swallow some humble pie. On the bright side they let me rejoin.
The conclusions I came to were very eye opening and mind stretching. knowing now what Leadership education means to me is a great place to be at. It also helped me question myself in an uncomfortable way and grow. So good to know yet another weakness that has to be overcome.
My 7 year old daughter is visiting my parents in BC. She called me today to tell me about her trip and all the fun she is having which is basically all the TV she is watching. But whatever. Anway I have a sister that lives in the same town as my parents who is pregnant and not married. She lives with her boyfriend (that doesn't make it right) Hannah called and said "Mom shes pregnant and not even married isn't that wierd" (my kids know how babies are made) I aksed her what she meant "Well girls are supposed to get married before they do that I told her she made a bad choice" Well it made me laugh. I wonder are these core beliefs I taught her? Is she learning correct principles and governing herself? Am I reading to much into this? Am I even making sense?
Thank you all for responding to this It really helps me to think things through.
Peggy

What Leadership education means to me

I tried to delete the previous post but it didn't work and so I have now just decided to leave it on. I realize I have a problem with mouthing off before thinking things thru. I realize people have different opinions then I do. My friend Kathy pointed out I wouldn't want my kids to be mentored by terrorists and she does have a point. But I stand by the theory to teach them corect principles and let them govern themselves. I have decided to just explain what Thomas Jefferson Education means to me and realize others interpret it differently.
To me Thomas Jefferson or leadership education means to seek out truth in all things, religion, education, and life in general. I also must learn to be more forgiving and accepting of others and their interpretations of the truth. One of the reasons I homeschool is that the public schools tend to teach one side of the truth and kids aren't given the whole picture just that certain teachers view of the curriculum.I want my kids to be seekers. One example of this is the theory of evolution. I want my kids to learn both theories and decide for themselves what they believe is truth. I happen to be a creationist but after studying both theories, and knowing the principles I was raised with. I guess that is where I differ from most people. If my child came to me proclaiming to have found the truth as far as religion and basic principles are concerned and they greatly differed from mine. I would ask them to try and prove it to me, I would ask them to study very hard both options and the greatest thing I want to teach my kids is to take things to God. I will want them to pray about it after they gain all the knowledge they can. Then if it remains the same,or differed, as their parent I will respect that decision. Now I have small kids and I am sure I am at the point easier said then done. But when they come to me with both sides thought about and studied but their decision is different then mine don't I have to respect that. That is what I taught them, freedom, seek truth.
The five pillars of a leadership education are, classics, mentors, field experience, simulations and God. Maybe as a learning point for our kids while they are under our care is a simulation of what we can do when faced with a mentor of differing religion.
I am sure I am over reacting but shouldn't we be happy for our children when they find truth for themselves. Although I think I would have a hard time if one of my kids became a terrorist.
Thanks for getting me thinking Kathleen. I always write these then don't proof read because I usually have to go change a yucky leaky diaper like right now so I apologize for any loose thoughts or weird sentences.

Being Mormon

I am not quite sure if I mentioned it here or not but I have decided to start school in September. It will be distance studies through GWC they will be accredited next fall as well, so that is good. But I did it for me and for my family.
I had to leave a Yahoo group community. The latest discussion left me feeling rather annoyed by some of the members. We preach to teach freedom to our kids, we want them to find truth but only as long as they stay members of the right faith. If they convert to any other religion well then that is just wrong. My main question is how can we teach our kids freedom, want them to find truth then get mad at them for converting to a religion you have no respect for? I know some of the members of that Yahoo group will read this and I apologize for the offense I don't mean to give any but really think about what you are doing and what you are saying. It is coming across as really hypocritical.
I have decided this next year in our homeschooling to avoid all "community" events and just do our own thing. I have found very little joy in the lack of respect we are showing each other the lack of support and the lack of joy for the other person.
I seem to only blog lately when I am upset at some circumstance or issue brought up by someones lack of thought for another person. I am tired I am worn out. I find no joy in the so called "enlightened" group I so desperately wanted approval from.
A very wise and inspiring man once said "Teach them correct principles and they will govern themselves" That man was Joseph Smith the founder and restorer of my faith. Is this not what we are trying to teach our children? Are we not trying to teach them correct principles?
I believe he was a great man inspired by God. I also believe that when children or people who are taught to seek truth and freedom are mentored by a Mormon, they will feel the spirit and inspiration from God and that is why they will convert not because they are trying to be like their mentor.
There it is off my chest. I apologize for any offense I may have caused but I will not apologize for being a seeker of truth and being LDS. I really think we need to analyze what we are teaching our kids. I could not share this on the group because it would cause offense and great upheaval, therefore because I did not feel the freedom to share my opinion I left the group.
I look forward to this fall and seeking more truth and more freedom and the road to becoming Liber.

Woman and Art

I saw this on another blog sadiepink. I loved it so I had to share it. I got it off you tube. I like it so I hope you do to.

Shes pretty Cute.

Personalities and Politcs.

For the sake of politics is it still virtuous to swallow otherwise rudely said words? I wonder if that even made sense? When faced with an extremely strong personality that is rude, belligerent, and otherwise incredibly nasty, for the sake of future possible politics are you still a good person if you let it alone?
I have recently encountered such a person. Mind you he is young. But every time I had to interact with him I truly wanted to hurt him. His pride for himself shown through at every encounter. He is so incredibly wrapped up in himself that he can not see the forest through all the trees. There I vented I feel better. But I feel I may have certain encounters where he is involved and everyone else seems to love him which I am not saying he in undeserving of love because he is deserving of love but everyone assumes he is so great and I wonder what has he done. Here a friend and I work our butts off to provide experiences for people he shows up telling us how to do it and I wonder Where is your experience? What have you done to Deserve telling us what to do?
Now I sound prideful. But I believe I have paid my dues to deserve a certain amount of respect. I didn't just go in demanding it. I worked. I cried. I organized.
What would Jesus do? Love one another. Therefor I must love this young individual. He is young and I believe in time will get to be great .
So then what can we do if politically or career wise speaking we have to work with someone that truly rubs us the wrong way? My normal answer is to be incredibly passive aggressive, but that hasn't really worked for me in the past.
I guess I am taking this so hard because there is only a very small list of people I don't get along with its a new thing for me. Pride Pride Pride. Now I'm being proud.
So in my passive aggressive tendencies I write a blog about this anonymous person. Passive aggressive woman strikes again. That would be a really cool super hero. I can see it now, I'll help you out of your terrible situation and if you don't thank me I'll glare and poor water down your pants and pretend nothing happened. ha ha ha ha ha. Then I'll drive your car into a swimming pool and walk away like I did it every day. ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm going to have to think of future adventures for Passive aggressive woman. I think I can have a lot of fun with that.

Finally A New Post

It has been a whole month since I last posted. So much has happened. I have decided to start a new distance studies program being offered by GWC. It will be a group of us getting together once a month for 2 days with a mentor from GWC. I also will have biweekly calls from my mentor and a bi weekly teleconference. It will be intense but it will be a great growing opportunity for me. And hopefully by the end of 6 years because I have to go slow I will have a bachelors degree to show for it. Actually I know I will. I would go full time and get it done is 6 but I have 6 kids and a house and a yard and a dog and now 2 budgies.
We have a court date to adopt the 2 we have been trying to adopt for 2 years. I am very excited about that, and Fred was cast in a TV show. It may be on a lousy Channel but Fred Hillyer is on TV.
My Internet has been acting really weird and I can only get on sporadically and when its windy. At this point Dial up would be better. But they said they would come fix it so hopefully they come soon.

Here something for you old canadians

Is Change REALLY Possible

As I sit amongst my cluttery house in my overweight body I wonder "Can I really change the world?" I consume so much, I take so much and what do I give? I read about wonderful great people like Mohammud Yunnus. Here is a wonderful man doing something to change the world. He is not only helping people but he is giving them dignity. He is giving a hand up not a hand out. That last statement is such a cliche but true none the less. Such a miracle.
Or Aung San Suu Kyi, giving 6 years of her life to house arrest for the people who believed in her. These are the people who are being the change in the world. These are the people to look up to. These are the real heroes.
Tina Turner has a song we don't need another Hero. Is that true? Do we not need another hero? Is another word for hero Statesman, or Stateswoman. Kind of makes you want to go rent Mad Max and find out? Or study more influential people in history.
I digress. Back to my original point. Where does the motivation come from to truly change the world? Or do we need to be like Gandhi? I heard a great story about Gandhi. A mother was really worried about her son he was getting sick because of eating too much sugar. (I may be getting the details wrong but the overall message will come thru). She went to Gandhi and said Gandhi please tell my son to stop eating sugar. He replied to the woman to come back in 30 days. She wondered why 30 days and was a bit upset he would not help sooner. The 30 days past, and this woman brought her son to Gandhi and he turned to the boy and said "Don't eat Sugar" The woman was a bit taken a back and said " you made me wait 30 days to tell my son Don't eat sugar." Gandhi said "yes but you see 30 days ago I ate sugar." (Details of what was eaten are not sure)
So To be the change you wish to see in the world needs to come from within. So I can really always answer my own questions. Its just a matter of where does the motivation come from. Do I worry about the wrong things? I worry about cleaning my house, inspiring my kids to want to learn, clean clothes, clean dishes, why no matter how hard I try I can't type "the" right the first time, I constantly have to delete and fix it. So what do I need to do the moment I leave this room, to make my life and the world a better place? Honestly I need to stop worrying, and read to my kids.
Now for all of you who have been singing we don't need another hero I have something for you to watch. It is nice to see a young Mel Gibson again:

Mommy its ooverrr

Well the Forum was A HUGE success, and I didn't pee my pants when I met Dr. Brooks. Yes I know you are so proud. A couple of my friends were going to bring me a depends but thought it might be inappropriate in front of Dr. B. It was a success and I helped to create an environment where people were inspired and uplifted. It was so good and now I am on to planning next year. Fred thinks I am crazy but I think it was worth it.The talk and laughter afterwards was a good payoff. I also have people asking when is next years. I already have most of the speakers lined up. It seems to be planning itself. I am just the driver in a current I have found. Follow the current don't fight it.
Dr. Brooks talked on Legacy, building our legacy, leaving behind our legacy. One key he brought up was two towers building our two towers. Family is the first tower to build. Focus on family then he said this, The successful families that have good and great children are the families where the mother works at being the mother and the father works at being the father. I thought to myself, have I been working at being a mother?, with all me many trips down to Salt Lake "Bettering myself" have I worked at being a mother? What is a mother? How do you work at being a mother? Now I am absolutely positive that being a mother is much much more than providing clean laundry, and a clean house for our kids to mess up. It has to be otherwise I am in trouble. Have I neglected my First tower? I feel I may have. As I sit here now and write I am begging my kids to leave me alone for 10 minutes to write. Is that neglect? We read together this morning, we coloured, we played. Is asking for 10 minutes to write my thoughts neglect would a "good" mother do that? Or is every waking moment spent playing colouring washing the kids?
I truly have some soul searching to do. I also learned at this forum it is time to focus on your core phase. I will be needed to start my scholar phase very soon but have neglected my core and you can't have a good scholar without a solid core. What an interesting bit of mission to have pushed into my face. In Salt Lake I got you need to get out of your shell and be more public, now I get focus on your core, because Scholar is not far behind. I know most of you are asking where does Love of Learning fit into all this. I don't know at this time. But when I find out I'll let you know. Interesting how only small parts of my mission are being let out a little at a time. Bits and pieces here and there. What is the end result? I don't know but I hope its good and I know my kids will be involved.
People ask why do you do what you do? Meaning host face to faces, plan forums and help with the youth retreats. It dies take me from my family, but I guess its so that when they reach transitional scholar and scholar the things they need will be in place for them. Work out the bugs now so when Megan is there in four years it will be ready for her. I am preparing the way for her. I feel so at peace by what I am doing. It has to be ready for her. I only have 4 years. I also need the parents of her contemporaries to be trained and confident in the phases that it will be ready for their kids as well. That is why I do what I do.
So yes the trips to Salt Lake are worth it, I am bettering myself so I can better those who are going to be around my daughter when she is forming the most important years of her life.
There is a quote "How can I tell what I think till I see what I say" E.M. Forester
I am thankful for this Blog to let my thoughts out and to see what I think. I feel much better. I have been beating myself up for thinking I have been neglecting my first tower when I have only been strengthening its future by building my second tower. That totally makes sense to me if not you.

I need a good book to read

This is me trying to get everyone to sit still for a group picture with my new digital camera. I never got the shot and gave up.

P.S.

For those of you keeping track Hannah learned to ride a 2 wheeler. Oh and she turned 7 today.

Funny Mom sentences

I would liketo start a contest of sort. you will only win in your heart. I want to know the funniest sentence you have said to one of your children, something you never thought you would say.
Example...
"Hunter we need to change your diaper, wash your hands and get that toothpaste off your forhead."
"No you can't put the cat in the toilet. Cats don't like to get wet thats why..."
"I'm pretty sure the dog doesn't like to be vandalized by pink dry erase marker" (onthe bright side it washed off the dog pretty easily)


Something like that. We all win because we can laugh at ourselves but I would like the verification that I am not the only mother who talks like this.

This is really good

Now that I have calmed down.
I am totally excited to have this happen. What an absolute blessing. I am being blessed all around. Its a miracle really. I have decided that I will not pee my pants when I talk to Dr. Brooks. Although I make no promises.
I have been praying for things to happen for things to go and this is the miracle and I hope it is well received. I have new worries now though, The 30 people that have signed up will it be impressive enough for him. They are thinking of expanding and opening a satellite canadian campus here and if only 30 people come to the forum will it look good or bad? I really can't answer that. I don't know. But I really want that Canadian satellite campus to open, because then I can go, and perhaps a chance to dream, I can mentor.
You know I have had 3 miracles in one day. Why am I not on my knees thanking the Lord?

Title has lost me

Um......Dr. Brooks is presenting at my forum.........hmmm.........
I just thought of something what if he wants to talk to me and I make a complete fool of myself?
This is totally fantastic. AAAAAAHHHHHH

The Whirling of my mind

I finally feel human again. I can walk without limping, I can breathe without wheezing. Finally a day of humanness. So I went for a bike ride with my family. We went to the teeny tine Stirling pond type thingy. Not the marsh but the fishing pond. It is a block from my house.
I got many books read during my sabbatical from good health. I read, Star Girl, Caddie Woodlawn, Tao of Pooh, Ella Enchanted, The Little Prince, and bits and pieces still of Zen and Art of Motorcycle maintenance. I can't get my brain into it. I am trying.
I learned a lot, many epiphanies. We had thankful weeks around our learning. We were thankful for Math and did math all one week, We were thankful for science and had a blast with a small volcano Hannah made and vinegar and baking soda. This week we are thankful for time because Megan wants to be better at telling time. I got a new clock that moos from Fred so I took down my dollar store special and I am letting the kids use it and manipulate it just have hands on with it.
One funny symptom I am still having is I can't think of words. Hannah and I were sweeping the floor and I wanted her to get the dustpan,I said "OK now go get the ........Um the..... That thing", "What thing?", "Hold on while I think of the word....."' Hannah "The dustpan?"' "Yeah that thing" So I have turned into a bear with very little brain.
So we are thankful for telling time. Hannah wants to be thankful for art next week. I think that will be fun. I want to be thankful for nature walks and successful Forums. It will be good I know it.

The gimp With a limp

I finally got back to my Doctor 10 days after me X ray. The diagnosis. Sacral Bi lateralitis (Or however it is spelled) Apparently the inflammation is so bad the X ray picked it up. I guess it normally can't and after the x ray you get a bone scan but I do not need a bone scan because the X ray picked it up. I now get to have steroids injected into my sacral joint. I also got some nice pain killers that take my limp away for a little while.
It is a interesting time in ones life when they are rendered immobile, for some reason that is the time you want to go ride your bike or walk all over town, or plant your garden, or shop. I normally hate shopping but have spent days doing it. I can lean on the shopping cart and walk fairly normal. One job that has been absolutely dreadful is washing the dishes. Standing at the sink is torture. I do have a dishwasher but it the pots and pans and other things that can't go in the dishwasher. For some reason I have been feeling stressed and when I get stressed I like to cook and cook big. Not a good thing to do when you can't stand at the sink for more than 3 minutes. Fred has been gone. He is home now so he was real happy about the amount of dishes waiting for him. The other morning we had NO dishes left for breakfast. So I made instant pudding and gave everyone a spoon and we had a picnic on the kitchen floor. One dish 6 spoons, its all good. The kids loved it, they kept asking when they could do it again.
I am being blessed though. Amid all the pain and hobbling I feel like I am learning to deal with things I can not control, compassion for others and all around patience. I have been able to read a lot more. I Just finished the book "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. It talks about letting things go the natural way. When we let things go there natural way they happen better then when we try to coerce or change them. It is much more relaxing and happier. Its like a stream taking the path of least resistance but over time you end up with things like the grand canyon. A big thing from a little thing. It is a good read and will be added to my classics list. It funny because I was in a lot of pain and mad at life, feeling sorry for myself while I was reading about the Eeyore complex . Can you say slap in the face. I also realize I have Rabbit tendencies. Running from one place to another and not really getting anything done. The next obvious book on my list to read is "The Te of Piglet".
I kept wanting to underline the poignant parts but the whole book would have been underlined. Interesting read. I recommend it to all. I have a copy you can borrow if you like.

I lose

The caffeine won today. It has been over a month but the stress got me and its the only way I can deal with pressure. I haven't been able to walk without a limp for over 15 days now, Fred has been in and out of town for 6 days now, and my Landlord (AKA my mom) is having our house appraised so I have been frantically hobbling about the house trying to get it to the point where I can say "Sorry about the mess". It also rained today so the lawn is not mowed, and Fred has an audition in Edmonton tomorrow, so I hope long grass is in this season. So I have seen Fred for a total of about 2 hours since Last Thursday.
But I also bought myself a new digital camera. It must have been the caffeine talking. I have been reading about Notebooking as a homeschooling tool and decided to try it and decided that to do it right I need a digital camera. That way I can delete right there the pictures I don't want instead of waiting to get them developed to see what ones worked. I need instant gratification. Hahahahaha.
Also my forum is not being as successful as I had hoped and I am up worrying. We have 20 people signed up but that is an average of 6 people per class. I am not sure why people don't support things in this Tjed community. They say we need this. We need that. Then some poor sap comes along and tries to provide and they say not right now. I am venting. All well as long as we make enough money to cover the building rental cost it will be alright.

Another Email from my grandpa

My Grandpa sent me this and it struck a cord with me. I don't know how you will feel about it. When he sent it, it was longer but I felt it would be more poignant to end it sooner.


Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at ?. ..
Virginia Tech, VA 4/16/07 (recently added)
Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96
Bethel, Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl, Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah, Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro, Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro, Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville, Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield, Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond, Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton, Colorado 4/20/99
Taber, Alberta, Canada 5/28/99
Conyers, Georgia 5/20/99
Deming, New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson, Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee, California 3/ 5/01 and
El Cajon, California 3/22/01?

Sincerely,

Concerned Student

-----------------------------------------------------

Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:
Sorry,
I am not allowed in schools!
Sincerely,
God

----------------------------------------------------------