Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Is Change REALLY Possible

As I sit amongst my cluttery house in my overweight body I wonder "Can I really change the world?" I consume so much, I take so much and what do I give? I read about wonderful great people like Mohammud Yunnus. Here is a wonderful man doing something to change the world. He is not only helping people but he is giving them dignity. He is giving a hand up not a hand out. That last statement is such a cliche but true none the less. Such a miracle.
Or Aung San Suu Kyi, giving 6 years of her life to house arrest for the people who believed in her. These are the people who are being the change in the world. These are the people to look up to. These are the real heroes.
Tina Turner has a song we don't need another Hero. Is that true? Do we not need another hero? Is another word for hero Statesman, or Stateswoman. Kind of makes you want to go rent Mad Max and find out? Or study more influential people in history.
I digress. Back to my original point. Where does the motivation come from to truly change the world? Or do we need to be like Gandhi? I heard a great story about Gandhi. A mother was really worried about her son he was getting sick because of eating too much sugar. (I may be getting the details wrong but the overall message will come thru). She went to Gandhi and said Gandhi please tell my son to stop eating sugar. He replied to the woman to come back in 30 days. She wondered why 30 days and was a bit upset he would not help sooner. The 30 days past, and this woman brought her son to Gandhi and he turned to the boy and said "Don't eat Sugar" The woman was a bit taken a back and said " you made me wait 30 days to tell my son Don't eat sugar." Gandhi said "yes but you see 30 days ago I ate sugar." (Details of what was eaten are not sure)
So To be the change you wish to see in the world needs to come from within. So I can really always answer my own questions. Its just a matter of where does the motivation come from. Do I worry about the wrong things? I worry about cleaning my house, inspiring my kids to want to learn, clean clothes, clean dishes, why no matter how hard I try I can't type "the" right the first time, I constantly have to delete and fix it. So what do I need to do the moment I leave this room, to make my life and the world a better place? Honestly I need to stop worrying, and read to my kids.
Now for all of you who have been singing we don't need another hero I have something for you to watch. It is nice to see a young Mel Gibson again:




Monday, May 28, 2007

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mommy its ooverrr

Well the Forum was A HUGE success, and I didn't pee my pants when I met Dr. Brooks. Yes I know you are so proud. A couple of my friends were going to bring me a depends but thought it might be inappropriate in front of Dr. B. It was a success and I helped to create an environment where people were inspired and uplifted. It was so good and now I am on to planning next year. Fred thinks I am crazy but I think it was worth it.The talk and laughter afterwards was a good payoff. I also have people asking when is next years. I already have most of the speakers lined up. It seems to be planning itself. I am just the driver in a current I have found. Follow the current don't fight it.
Dr. Brooks talked on Legacy, building our legacy, leaving behind our legacy. One key he brought up was two towers building our two towers. Family is the first tower to build. Focus on family then he said this, The successful families that have good and great children are the families where the mother works at being the mother and the father works at being the father. I thought to myself, have I been working at being a mother?, with all me many trips down to Salt Lake "Bettering myself" have I worked at being a mother? What is a mother? How do you work at being a mother? Now I am absolutely positive that being a mother is much much more than providing clean laundry, and a clean house for our kids to mess up. It has to be otherwise I am in trouble. Have I neglected my First tower? I feel I may have. As I sit here now and write I am begging my kids to leave me alone for 10 minutes to write. Is that neglect? We read together this morning, we coloured, we played. Is asking for 10 minutes to write my thoughts neglect would a "good" mother do that? Or is every waking moment spent playing colouring washing the kids?
I truly have some soul searching to do. I also learned at this forum it is time to focus on your core phase. I will be needed to start my scholar phase very soon but have neglected my core and you can't have a good scholar without a solid core. What an interesting bit of mission to have pushed into my face. In Salt Lake I got you need to get out of your shell and be more public, now I get focus on your core, because Scholar is not far behind. I know most of you are asking where does Love of Learning fit into all this. I don't know at this time. But when I find out I'll let you know. Interesting how only small parts of my mission are being let out a little at a time. Bits and pieces here and there. What is the end result? I don't know but I hope its good and I know my kids will be involved.
People ask why do you do what you do? Meaning host face to faces, plan forums and help with the youth retreats. It dies take me from my family, but I guess its so that when they reach transitional scholar and scholar the things they need will be in place for them. Work out the bugs now so when Megan is there in four years it will be ready for her. I am preparing the way for her. I feel so at peace by what I am doing. It has to be ready for her. I only have 4 years. I also need the parents of her contemporaries to be trained and confident in the phases that it will be ready for their kids as well. That is why I do what I do.
So yes the trips to Salt Lake are worth it, I am bettering myself so I can better those who are going to be around my daughter when she is forming the most important years of her life.
There is a quote "How can I tell what I think till I see what I say" E.M. Forester
I am thankful for this Blog to let my thoughts out and to see what I think. I feel much better. I have been beating myself up for thinking I have been neglecting my first tower when I have only been strengthening its future by building my second tower. That totally makes sense to me if not you.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I need a good book to read


This is me trying to get everyone to sit still for a group picture with my new digital camera. I never got the shot and gave up.

P.S.

For those of you keeping track Hannah learned to ride a 2 wheeler. Oh and she turned 7 today.

Funny Mom sentences

I would liketo start a contest of sort. you will only win in your heart. I want to know the funniest sentence you have said to one of your children, something you never thought you would say.
Example...
"Hunter we need to change your diaper, wash your hands and get that toothpaste off your forhead."
"No you can't put the cat in the toilet. Cats don't like to get wet thats why..."
"I'm pretty sure the dog doesn't like to be vandalized by pink dry erase marker" (onthe bright side it washed off the dog pretty easily)


Something like that. We all win because we can laugh at ourselves but I would like the verification that I am not the only mother who talks like this.

This is really good

Now that I have calmed down.
I am totally excited to have this happen. What an absolute blessing. I am being blessed all around. Its a miracle really. I have decided that I will not pee my pants when I talk to Dr. Brooks. Although I make no promises.
I have been praying for things to happen for things to go and this is the miracle and I hope it is well received. I have new worries now though, The 30 people that have signed up will it be impressive enough for him. They are thinking of expanding and opening a satellite canadian campus here and if only 30 people come to the forum will it look good or bad? I really can't answer that. I don't know. But I really want that Canadian satellite campus to open, because then I can go, and perhaps a chance to dream, I can mentor.
You know I have had 3 miracles in one day. Why am I not on my knees thanking the Lord?

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Title has lost me

Um......Dr. Brooks is presenting at my forum.........hmmm.........
I just thought of something what if he wants to talk to me and I make a complete fool of myself?
This is totally fantastic. AAAAAAHHHHHH

Monday, May 7, 2007

The Whirling of my mind

I finally feel human again. I can walk without limping, I can breathe without wheezing. Finally a day of humanness. So I went for a bike ride with my family. We went to the teeny tine Stirling pond type thingy. Not the marsh but the fishing pond. It is a block from my house.
I got many books read during my sabbatical from good health. I read, Star Girl, Caddie Woodlawn, Tao of Pooh, Ella Enchanted, The Little Prince, and bits and pieces still of Zen and Art of Motorcycle maintenance. I can't get my brain into it. I am trying.
I learned a lot, many epiphanies. We had thankful weeks around our learning. We were thankful for Math and did math all one week, We were thankful for science and had a blast with a small volcano Hannah made and vinegar and baking soda. This week we are thankful for time because Megan wants to be better at telling time. I got a new clock that moos from Fred so I took down my dollar store special and I am letting the kids use it and manipulate it just have hands on with it.
One funny symptom I am still having is I can't think of words. Hannah and I were sweeping the floor and I wanted her to get the dustpan,I said "OK now go get the ........Um the..... That thing", "What thing?", "Hold on while I think of the word....."' Hannah "The dustpan?"' "Yeah that thing" So I have turned into a bear with very little brain.
So we are thankful for telling time. Hannah wants to be thankful for art next week. I think that will be fun. I want to be thankful for nature walks and successful Forums. It will be good I know it.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

The gimp With a limp

I finally got back to my Doctor 10 days after me X ray. The diagnosis. Sacral Bi lateralitis (Or however it is spelled) Apparently the inflammation is so bad the X ray picked it up. I guess it normally can't and after the x ray you get a bone scan but I do not need a bone scan because the X ray picked it up. I now get to have steroids injected into my sacral joint. I also got some nice pain killers that take my limp away for a little while.
It is a interesting time in ones life when they are rendered immobile, for some reason that is the time you want to go ride your bike or walk all over town, or plant your garden, or shop. I normally hate shopping but have spent days doing it. I can lean on the shopping cart and walk fairly normal. One job that has been absolutely dreadful is washing the dishes. Standing at the sink is torture. I do have a dishwasher but it the pots and pans and other things that can't go in the dishwasher. For some reason I have been feeling stressed and when I get stressed I like to cook and cook big. Not a good thing to do when you can't stand at the sink for more than 3 minutes. Fred has been gone. He is home now so he was real happy about the amount of dishes waiting for him. The other morning we had NO dishes left for breakfast. So I made instant pudding and gave everyone a spoon and we had a picnic on the kitchen floor. One dish 6 spoons, its all good. The kids loved it, they kept asking when they could do it again.
I am being blessed though. Amid all the pain and hobbling I feel like I am learning to deal with things I can not control, compassion for others and all around patience. I have been able to read a lot more. I Just finished the book "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. It talks about letting things go the natural way. When we let things go there natural way they happen better then when we try to coerce or change them. It is much more relaxing and happier. Its like a stream taking the path of least resistance but over time you end up with things like the grand canyon. A big thing from a little thing. It is a good read and will be added to my classics list. It funny because I was in a lot of pain and mad at life, feeling sorry for myself while I was reading about the Eeyore complex . Can you say slap in the face. I also realize I have Rabbit tendencies. Running from one place to another and not really getting anything done. The next obvious book on my list to read is "The Te of Piglet".
I kept wanting to underline the poignant parts but the whole book would have been underlined. Interesting read. I recommend it to all. I have a copy you can borrow if you like.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

I lose

The caffeine won today. It has been over a month but the stress got me and its the only way I can deal with pressure. I haven't been able to walk without a limp for over 15 days now, Fred has been in and out of town for 6 days now, and my Landlord (AKA my mom) is having our house appraised so I have been frantically hobbling about the house trying to get it to the point where I can say "Sorry about the mess". It also rained today so the lawn is not mowed, and Fred has an audition in Edmonton tomorrow, so I hope long grass is in this season. So I have seen Fred for a total of about 2 hours since Last Thursday.
But I also bought myself a new digital camera. It must have been the caffeine talking. I have been reading about Notebooking as a homeschooling tool and decided to try it and decided that to do it right I need a digital camera. That way I can delete right there the pictures I don't want instead of waiting to get them developed to see what ones worked. I need instant gratification. Hahahahaha.
Also my forum is not being as successful as I had hoped and I am up worrying. We have 20 people signed up but that is an average of 6 people per class. I am not sure why people don't support things in this Tjed community. They say we need this. We need that. Then some poor sap comes along and tries to provide and they say not right now. I am venting. All well as long as we make enough money to cover the building rental cost it will be alright.