Well the Forum was A HUGE success, and I didn't pee my pants when I met Dr. Brooks. Yes I know you are so proud. A couple of my friends were going to bring me a depends but thought it might be inappropriate in front of Dr. B. It was a success and I helped to create an environment where people were inspired and uplifted. It was so good and now I am on to planning next year. Fred thinks I am crazy but I think it was worth it.The talk and laughter afterwards was a good payoff. I also have people asking when is next years. I already have most of the speakers lined up. It seems to be planning itself. I am just the driver in a current I have found. Follow the current don't fight it.
Dr. Brooks talked on Legacy, building our legacy, leaving behind our legacy. One key he brought up was two towers building our two towers. Family is the first tower to build. Focus on family then he said this, The successful families that have good and great children are the families where the mother works at being the mother and the father works at being the father. I thought to myself, have I been working at being a mother?, with all me many trips down to Salt Lake "Bettering myself" have I worked at being a mother? What is a mother? How do you work at being a mother? Now I am absolutely positive that being a mother is much much more than providing clean laundry, and a clean house for our kids to mess up. It has to be otherwise I am in trouble. Have I neglected my First tower? I feel I may have. As I sit here now and write I am begging my kids to leave me alone for 10 minutes to write. Is that neglect? We read together this morning, we coloured, we played. Is asking for 10 minutes to write my thoughts neglect would a "good" mother do that? Or is every waking moment spent playing colouring washing the kids?
I truly have some soul searching to do. I also learned at this forum it is time to focus on your core phase. I will be needed to start my scholar phase very soon but have neglected my core and you can't have a good scholar without a solid core. What an interesting bit of mission to have pushed into my face. In Salt Lake I got you need to get out of your shell and be more public, now I get focus on your core, because Scholar is not far behind. I know most of you are asking where does Love of Learning fit into all this. I don't know at this time. But when I find out I'll let you know. Interesting how only small parts of my mission are being let out a little at a time. Bits and pieces here and there. What is the end result? I don't know but I hope its good and I know my kids will be involved.
People ask why do you do what you do? Meaning host face to faces, plan forums and help with the youth retreats. It dies take me from my family, but I guess its so that when they reach transitional scholar and scholar the things they need will be in place for them. Work out the bugs now so when Megan is there in four years it will be ready for her. I am preparing the way for her. I feel so at peace by what I am doing. It has to be ready for her. I only have 4 years. I also need the parents of her contemporaries to be trained and confident in the phases that it will be ready for their kids as well. That is why I do what I do.
So yes the trips to Salt Lake are worth it, I am bettering myself so I can better those who are going to be around my daughter when she is forming the most important years of her life.
There is a quote "How can I tell what I think till I see what I say" E.M. Forester
I am thankful for this Blog to let my thoughts out and to see what I think. I feel much better. I have been beating myself up for thinking I have been neglecting my first tower when I have only been strengthening its future by building my second tower. That totally makes sense to me if not you.