Emotional Comparison

It has been a very emotional thing for me to start blogging. I know many friends and family members that blog and so I visit their sites and see how great they are, and then there is my little blog. I like the Light house water mark it makes me smile. "So Cute"
I am in the midst of planning a Canadian Tjed Forum. It will be great. A room full of like minded people all trying to find their missions in life and how they can impact the world is going to be awesome. Here is the truly scary part, I have decided to be a presenter at this forum. Can you imagine that me presenting to many new to Thomas Jefferson Education and many veteran Tjeders as well. It is intimidating and exciting all at the same time. My presentation is called "How to be of Good Cheer with Multiple Core phase children" One of my suggestions is "Do Not Compare yourself to others" seems like I should take my own advice. It truly is so debilitating. It can bind you into inaction which is anti Tjed. Tjed is action it is doing, and comparisons get in the way of that. So I promise to stop comparing myself and step into action. I will go and do. I always say to Megan "GO, BE, DO" So I guess it is time to take my own advice.
I will be a good blogger even if my sister Kim is my only reader Yeah Kim!! ( I know there are a few more). Sometimes I feel like the guy on the Mc Donalds Commercial drinking the shake and wanting to go home to blog about it for all his fans and his wife says who your mother. Very Funny But I will do anyway. My mom doesn't even read my blog. Now that's funny. Truth be told I don't think she knows what a blog is. Love ya Mom.
I had my 2nd ever uncontrollable asthma attack today. I had to go to the hospital and get a nebulizer mask to help things open up. When I got to the Hospital my Oxygen levels were at 89%. I really don't know if that is good or bad but when I left they were up to 100% which I can guess is good, anything 100% is good. I always feel kind of funny going into get a nebulizer treatment at the hospital. The one other time I had to go the Doctor gave me a very long lecture on how to take my inhaler properly, and had me take home a Areo Chamber. But I knew how to take it properly and it wasn't working. So today I put it off way to long. I got up to cut some cheese for lunch and it winded me. I had to call my mom at work in Nanaimo to ask if I should go. She told me to go. I didn't get a rude your dumb lesson on how to take my inhaler, I only saw the nurse and she said to come back if I needed to. Very kind.
So back to my Forum. I have had so many stretching and growing opportunities by doing this. I think I have some kind of odd Social phobia, in that I am totally scared to talk to people I hold on even the slightest pedestal. I had to ask 4 such people to present at my forum. It was fine over the email when we were not face to face but some of them called me and one even cornered me at a Christmas party and I almost peed my pants. But it is getting a bit easier, I emphasize, a bit.
Although when I was at the Salt Lake city Forum, I knew it was time for me to open up and come on out of my shell Diet Pepsi or no diet Pepsi. (which by the way it has been almost 3 weeks since my last fix) . So I took the leap and put myself down as a presenter. And the topic I choose has been very therapeutic to me. Being of good cheer wit multiple core phase children. I have many, many core phase children, at least 4 1/2. I think Hannah is in transition to love of learner. Megan is definitely in Love of learner and looks forward to her scholar phase but is only 8, but the idea of getting to read all day uninterrupted really appeals to her. I haven't told her about the daily stewardship she will be responsible for yet though. I'll leave that part until later.
I find blogging to be very therapeutic. How great it is to get to come and vent and not know who in the world is going to read it. If I happen to by chance have a tjeder who actually reads my blog which is my wish. I will post my presentation after my forum so you can read it too. But for now I suggest you check out tjed.org and read Laura Bledsoes essay called "Our Home: Motherhood in the 21 century." It is pretty good. I would post it here but it is kind of long and I haven't learned how to do clever links yet.
Well there it is I felt silly at the beginning but now I feel better, stronger, happier. I am breaking out of that shell, I am stepping out of that comfort zone. How else is one supposed to grow?